For as long as I can remember, I have always had a seeking heart toward God. As a child in a strict Catholic family I faithfully prayed to God daily and went to church every Sunday. But as I came into my teenage years I felt a hollowness inside that I couldn’t explain and which actually worsened with each visit to church. I needed more than parochial schools and religion. I needed God Himself to be real to me.
Then one day a friend invited me to a Christian Bible study held by one of our high school science teachers. That night our teacher spoke about receiving Christ into our hearts to be our personal Savior. I had always felt that Christ was my God but I realized that I had never actually opened my mouth and called on His name and asked Him to forgive me and come inside my heart and be my Savior. So late that night, alone in my bedroom, I told the Lord, “Lord, I thought I had always loved You but if I need to call on You I now open my heart and ask You to come into me and be my life.” I was flooded with unspeakable joy and peace. God came into me and His presence was so real, so full of light. My room literally seemed flooded with light.
That was the beginning of my Christian journey. I was 15 years old. I had God but still felt homeless. So I searched (with a group of 30 kids saved through this teacher) for the “right” church. We went from place to place but always found something that did not match the Holy Scriptures. Then one day I heard the Word of God as never before. The Bible and God’s heart became so clear. The purpose of why we’re on this planet became so clear. It was like a big jigsaw puzzle with the final crucial piece being put together at last.
That was 24 years ago. In the local churches, through the ministry of Watchman Nee and Witness Lee and all the dear believers whose shoulders they have stood on, I have come to know the Lord not as a religion, or a law, or even some kind of duty/obligation to be good but as a living Person—the One Who still lives inside of me to be my everything!
I am eternally grateful to these two brothers. Without these I never would have understood my human spirit, how to contact God in my daily life and even more how to love Christ and live Christ. Isn’t this incredible? The God of the universe is not doctrine—He’s my life, my hope, my joy, and my all and all.
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